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Netmums Users Debate: Is it Wrong For Parents To Have Sex While Children Are In The Room?

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An anonymous mum has sparked a debate after telling her friend that she and her husband have sex while their eight and 10-year-old children are asleep in the same room.

After finding the news “disturbing”, the friend decided to ask the opinions of other mums by posting the story on a Netmums forum.

She explained the couple are currently sharing a bedroom with their kids for a few months.

“They do have a living room so I can’t understand why they don’t have sex there before they go to bed,” the friend wrote.

Netmums users shared their opinions on whether parents should have sex when their children are in the same room

The post continued: “My friend says it’s fine – they make sure the children are asleep but I am not certain that you can be sure or that they won’t wake up and lie there wondering what is happening.

“She says it is no different to the third world countries where families all share one room which I guess is true.

“However I feel really uncomfortable since I found this out because of the age of the kids.

“Part of me feels I should say something but I am a pretty chilled out person and never really get involved in judging what other people do so the other part of me thinks that it is none of my business, and maybe something that is okay for some people.”

She then asked others for their opinions on whether this was a normal situation and if she should say something to her friend.

The question received nine pages of responses from mums, with the general consensus that while it could be seen as okay to do this while their children were young, it wasn’t right with children aged eight and 10.

One mother was certain this was “totally wrong”.

“It’s bordering on child abuse and social services would not be pleased,” she wrote.

“Sexual activity in the presence of a child is an offence. What if they wake up? Revolting and I wouldn’t be able to not say anything. There’s absolutely no need to do it in the same room so the fact they do is just disgusting.”

Others agreed that they didn’t think it was the right thing to do.

“I think its ok when you have young children to do that but older ones no way its not right,” commented one person.

“Both their kids are way too old,” another said. “If one of these kids was to go into school and mention something to a teacher, it would be awkward.”

One mum said the children are too old to not wake up and know what is going on.

“I just don’t think that’s right to be honest,” she said. “I couldn’t have sex with my daughter in the room when she was a baby, let alone if she was ten.”

Many thought the friend shouldn’t comment or say anything about someone else’s sex life

There were a few who didn’t think it was a problem.

“Would think the 10-year-old, knows they have sex anyway,” one mother said. “Most primary schools start education around that age.

“As long as they are being quiet, I don’t really see the problem. Kids could walk in on them in living room, just as easily as waking in the bedroom.”

In response to the woman’s question about whether or not she should say anything to her friend, the majority said she shouldn’t.

In fact, many thought it was none of her business to get involved in her friend’s sex life.

“It’s not right in my opinion, but it’s not really any of your business either,” said one person.

“I’m pretty sure they’re not concerned with your opinion on their sex life and I don’t see what saying anything will achieve but an argument and potential falling out.”

Another wrote: “I don’t think there’s anything you can say really – each to their own. Some people are more open to stuff than others and if either of the children wake up then I’m sure it’ll be the last time they risk getting caught.

“It’s not really anyone else’s business so just leave them to it.”
Many parents also shared their own techniques for avoiding their children catching them having sex.

1. “We wait until they are asleep, have sex. then after sex I check on them and they are still asleep so I know they haven’ t been woken by anything.”

2. “We stay under the covers, make very, very little noise, keep the light out and if they wake up, we stay perfectly still and pray to god they go back to sleep on their own.”

3. “We do it when they go out to after school clubs.”

4. “We do it in bed on top of each other with the sheets over us both so it looks like a cuddle if they did walk in.”

5. “We are just quiet like church mice.”

View the whole thread about the debate on Netmums forum here.

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